A big part of the difficulty in moving from a casual dating arrangement into a committed relationship is knowing if you’re both on the same page.
There are times when some people are simply enjoying the fun, happy dating arrangement. It allows them to enjoy themselves and go out on a non-serious level, all while they’ve got a great friend at their sides.
Unfortunately, when one partner becomes more serious than the other, it can lead to problems.
Too Deep, Too Soon
In many cases, the female in the relationship can sometimes tend to want some form of commitment sooner than the male. Women want to know that their casual dating partner is feeling the same strong feelings as she is and begin trying to push their partner into admitting what feelings might be developing. Of course, there are instances where men can fall into this trap too.
The unfortunate part about this kind of behavior is that some men can become seriously turned off by this kind of needy reassurance from a woman he thought was just hanging out and having some fun with.
This is the phase of any relationship where everyone is still figuring out whether the person they’re dating casually will be suitable for a long term relationship or not. Pushing a person to spend more time with you or to contact you more frequently can be seen as a sign of insecurity or desperation, and neither of these is an attractive quality in a long-term relationship.
By trying to move things forward too quickly, you risk losing a partner before he or she is ready to take that next step.
The problem with instant communication technology is that it’s very easy to fall into a pattern of wanting to contact the person you’re dating more frequently than you otherwise might do.
The temptation to send text messages or emails or instant messages over the internet simply to reach out and connect with this person can be overwhelming.
Of course, when you don’t receive an instant reply, it’s also tempting to start worrying that something is wrong or that maybe he’s changed his mind about you.
When you’re in a casual dating situation, always remember that your partner is still developing feelings and figuring out whether he wants to lose his independent lifestyle.
The more you pressure him for contact, the more likely it will be that he’ll feel pressured or suffocated, and he may just decide that single life is more attractive.
However, if you keep communication light and fun between you during this phase, he’ll understand that you are happy for him to still have his own interests and most men will happily begin to include you in more of his life because of it.